Aww, he's so cute! Ugly motherfucker.
Don't cry, you baby! It's OK to cry,
as long as no one sees you.
Maybe not even then.
Grow a pair
Mummy's Little Soldier.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
I just like the colour pink.
Calm down for fuck's sake!
Too much energy
Be Kind, be Good
Get in touch with your feminine side.
God he's such a loser!
Stand up for yourself!
Don't be arrogant, be confident
but not too much.
Say what you mean
Don't say what you feel
He plays the guitar?
Wow he's so amazing.
Is he reading a book?
He's definitely weird.
Well, hello big boy!
Is it in yet?
Multiple orgasms or GTFO!
Kill for us!
Die for us!
You're such a monster.
Oh my hero!
Beers, wines and spirits.
So angry I could kill,
So sad I probably will.
What does he do for a living?
You didn't fuck her?
I told her I was a virgin at 30,
she laughed so loud in the office
that her colleagues thought she was ill.
Your chest, stomach, arms,
legs, thighs, chin, shoulders,
arse, cock, balls, feet,
hands, fingers, nose
are all too small, or too big.
I'm not sure yet I'll let you know...
either way they're not good enough.
Check your privilege whenever you're
stacking shelves, emptying bins, mining,
fishing, farming, sweeping streets, gutting pigs,
building houses, laying roads, digging graves,
felling trees, shovelling shit, fixing cars,
washing machines, televisions, computers, fridges
and that shelf that...just...won't...stay...straight!
You're too quiet; you're too loud.
Don't be such a dick.
You need to be more of a dick.
Be more assertive when you're right.
Always admit you're always wrong.
Did you think I wanted you to do that
just because I asked you to?
Yeah but how much does he earn?
I love you but your mate is better in bed
and he drives a nicer car.
His beard makes him look handsome.
Don't trust him he's got a beard!
Why won't you talk?
I say by doing.
Are you listening to me?
Yes, that's why I'm doing this.
Do you really love me?
Obviously, or I wouldn't still be here.
An impotent, balding, old fool
eating a Wetherspoon's Christmas dinner
by himself smiles at a waitress,
so clearly he's a pervert.